Friday, August 12, 2011

More Rules

A collection of rules I've heard or decided upon in the last few weeks...

1 - It is a good general rule to aim to keep one's hoo-ha off camera.  This came up in discussion with a pregnant friend recently, but I think it's a good life rule.  You never know when you're going to end up pissing off whoever has the footage.  I think mean girls are more likely to end up on camera, hoo-ha to the world, but they are also more likely to piss someone off.  Not to mention, you don't want to throw away your shot at being President / World Dominator with one drunken picture. 

2 - If a new boy invites you to a hotel that advertises with a "Rooms for $39.99" sign...RUN.  I'm not saying the Red Roof Inn is for hookers, but...well...yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying.


3 - If you're going to lie about being a world traveler, do your research!  I recently went on a date with a boy who had supposedly been to Dublin time after time.  Having just been to Dublin myself, I mentioned the Dublin Spire (aka The Spike, The Binge Syringe, The Stiletto in the Ghetto, The Nail in the Pale, The Pin in the Bin, The Stiffy at the Liffey, The Erection in the Intersection, The Rod to God, etc.) and he had no clue what I was talking about!  Perhaps the dye from his purple, blue, and red hair affected his memory...or perhaps he's a sociopath...




4 - Always travel Republican.  See below.  Enough said.




5 - Baby talk isn't cute.  Ever.  I don't even like it when directed at actual babies, but will make an exception for humans under the age of two.  That's it. 





  

1 comment:

  1. I am glad to know you do not knowingly have any hoo-ha camera shots. I also think you have seriously under-estimated the power of a good fish tale, or shark tale rather;)

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