Let's see...not being good about the gym or the diet...maybe that update will be more impressive next time. Oh wait - I did have time to start a diet, lose 14 pounds, stop the diet and gain 9 of them back. Totally forgot that part. Maybe my real action item between now and the next blog is to be less productive. I can totally do that.
My faithful traveling companion / natural disaster initiator shared this awesome blog with me Knock Knock, MoFo. It is 110% worth the read, unless you're wearing mascara and don't want to look like a raccoon after the fits of laughter. Seriously. Read it.
Now that you've read about Beyonce, you can imagine the lessons I've learned from it. Don't be passive aggressive. Make statements... preferably via large statues of poultry...but definitely get your point across in a memorable manner. Always ask yourself, "what would Beyonce do?"
Would Beyonce tell the new boss off? Probably not. Obviously, she's classy and the strong, silent type that observes at first. When an annoying, crazy ex-acquaintance won't leave you alone and wants to have a passive aggressive argument with your old cell phone...what would Beyonce do? Oh, she'd definitely email a bitch. I listened to my inner Beyonce and she is smart. Of course, Crazy Girl is still trying to make contact with me a month later. I thought "we were never friends...leave me alone" was pretty clear, but maybe she needs a Beyonce at her door.
One should be careful not to get carried away when making statements, though. A co-worker was a victim of a Wal-Mart incident earlier this week.
What in the world? Hit and run? Nope...no scratches or paint marks. Shopping cart gone wild? Nope. Freak meteor shower? Nope. Ass impact after ripping out a weave in a girl fight? Clearly. Now that's high class...how did you end up in jail? I ripped a girl's weave out and hit a car with my ass in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Do not ever question my hatred for Wal-Mart again. Seriously.
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